If Aliens were Observing Humans

This is what they would think…

Appearance: All humans look about the same, with a bias toward a dark to light gradient from the equator to the poles. The females of the species are on average smaller, and the males of the species often identify themselves by shortening the hair on their heads. Most humans like to wear light colorful armor that seems more used for expression than function.

Habitat: Humans live in one or two mass produced box structures. Those who live in 2 structures spend their time in a communal box during the day, and usually a smaller box at night. Boxes usually come with angular objects that humans press their bodies into, which is the preferred waking activity. The larger angular objects are called “couch” and smaller ones are called “chair”

Diet: Vast majority eat “fruit” – there are 2 types, ones with plastic shells and ones with paper shells. The fruit are usually poured, or scooped out. Sometimes the meat inside is eaten heated, and sometimes raw. Fruits from local vegetation is known to be edible, but a large percentage is harvested and then thrown away. Many older humans drink fermented and rotten drinks that their body cannot process, often in social groups. This is perhaps a means of population control.

Mating/Reproduction: The majority of humans are paired one male and one female, although this does not seem to be necessary for reproduction. In most cases a male of the species gives the female of a species a ring, which permanently melds with the female and creates an offspring. Some females have been able to reproduce without this ring, and usually a second ring is not needed to produce more offspring.

Communication: Humans use small boxes to communicate with one or more other humans at once through electric impulse or satellite. Some communications are not directed towards any receiver in general, but various receivers with no connection to the sender may pick up the signal. When in close range, some humans can make sounds to each other with digestive tract. This method is mostly used for communicating with children and mating.

Social life: Humans gather in large and small groups to observe their world leaders or idols electronically and in person. Social lines are often drawn based on sub-religion and preferred world leader. For older humans, as mentioned earlier, social activities often involve drinking poison. They are biologically inclined to feel euphoria while drinking poison even though it makes their bodies disfunction.

World leaders: World leaders change regularly and are electronically and democratically voted. There is very little communication between world leaders and regional leaders, but (possibly through telepathy), most preach the same goals. World leaders often tour concentrated human populations called “cities” and speak to large masses. Right now the world leaders are Shakira, Ronaldo, and Eminem. Ronaldo is incidentally also a religious idol.

Idols: Humans have an obsession with spherical objects, which they call “balls”. Not all spherical objects are categorized as “balls”, but ones that are, have special idols who are chosen to hit them either with their own body, or another object. This is a bizarre and savage ritual that sometimes result in the injury of the idol. But almost all humans pay homage to one of these rituals every week, and seems to be the single biggest factor in determining social interactions both physically and electronically.

Societal structure: There is a delineation between “rich” and “poor”. There is no skill set or physical difference that separates the two, but the concept is common in human communication. The main difference is that the “rich” exchanges and obtains goods through communication or an IOU, whereas the “poor” must produce slips of paper, of which there is a finite quantity.

Religion: Humans, like all other self aware species, ask themselves where they came from. There is wide disagreement on this issue despite a large amount of time and resources put into discovering this. A simple search amounted in a long history of research and records. Even more so than a competition for resources, this is the greatest source of human on human bloodshed.

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